I Didn’t Realize I Missed Her
This year has stretched me in a lot of ways.
Therapy.
Business shifts.
Big conversations about who I am becoming.
But the most unexpected transformation?
I started tap dancing again.
And I didn’t realize how much I missed that version of me until I walked back into a studio at 36 years old.
The Girl Who Quit
I grew up dancing. Ballet, tap, jazz—five to six days a week. It wasn’t a hobby. It was my whole world. But by middle school, it stopped feeling magical. It started feeling heavy. I remember being told I weighed too much to go en pointe. I don’t even remember the exact conversation—I just remember the feeling. The awareness of my body. The quiet shame. So I quit ballet first. Then eventually, I quit dance altogether. And for years, I told myself it just wasn’t my path anymore. But if I’m honest? A piece of me stayed there.
The Life I Built (And What Was Missing)
Fast forward to now.
I’m a mom of four. I run businesses. I create content. I show up every single day. And I love my life. But somewhere along the way, I realized something uncomfortable: Almost everything I was doing had an outcome attached.Weight loss had an outcome. Business had an outcome. Motherhood—definitely an outcome. Even working out was tied to performance or discipline. But joy? Joy didn’t have a space. I was watching my girls in their dance class one day when I had this random thought: I miss this.
Not because I wanted to perform.
Not because I wanted to compete.
Not because I needed attention.
I missed how it felt. So I signed up for adult tap. Level three. And yes, walking into that room felt vulnerable. I wasn’t the best. I wasn’t the youngest. I wasn’t trying to prove anything. I was just there because I wanted to be. And that felt radical.
Healing Without Trying To
When I told my therapist I started dancing again, she smiled and said: “Look at you healing your inner child.” And I laughed. Because I didn’t set out to heal anything. But she was right. Every time I lace up my tap shoes, it feels like I’m reclaiming something that got buried under responsibility and pressure and old stories about my body. Dance feels different now. I’m not chasing perfection. I’m not shrinking myself. I’m not tying my worth to a number on a scale. I’m just moving because it makes me feel alive. And honestly? That has been the most healing part.
It Was Never Just About Tap
This episode of Real and Naturalish started as a conversation about dance. About competition. About Team USA. About the world championships in Prague.
But underneath all of that, it’s really about identity.
It’s about remembering that you are more than your roles.
You are not just:
- A mom
- A wife
- A business owner
- The responsible one
- The high achiever
You are also the girl who loved something once.
And that girl still matters.
If there’s something you used to love—something that lit you up before the world told you to be practical—I want you to question the story that says it’s “too late.”
It’s not.
You don’t have to monetize it.
You don’t have to master it.
You don’t have to be impressive.
You just have to begin. Out of everything I’ve done this year, starting dance again has made me the happiest.
Not because it changed my body.
Not because it grew my platform.
Not because it added another accomplishment.
But because it brought me back to myself. And maybe that’s the real glow up.
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